People Share The Worst Things To Say in an Elevator

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
May 25, 2023 3:00 PM EDT

Elevators are one of the most uncomfortable social environments the public has to offer. You're trapped in a tube with a bunch of strangers. You're packed incredibly closely with people of all different hygienic statuses. Worst of all, you're supposed to stay silent to avoid making people uncomfortable. Everybody's already uncomfortable in an elevator, and casual conversation is unlikely to solve this problem. 

If there's one thing I respect, it's the ability to clear out a crowded elevator. Eloise, the little girl who lived at the Plaza Hotel, did it quickly in the Elosie cinematic universe. She asked her fellow elevator riders, "Has anyone seen my pet mouse?" and in seconds, she'd be alone with the elevator operator, Max. Announcing the presence of rodents has got to be one of the worst things you can say in an elevator, and Redditors shared some of their picks for the WOAT (Worst of All Time): Elevator conversation edition. 

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  • 01
    Font - What's the worst thing you can say in an elevator full of people?
    via u/AMGBOI69420
  • 02
    Font - djobouti_phat • 19h 1 Award I think I know this one because I did it and it went over very, very poorly. We got stuck in a packed elevator in about 100° heat. After 30 minutes and a panic attack by someone in the back I couldn't see, I said "so.. I guess we should decide who we're eating first?" Real fuckin' awkward for the next hour until the fire department got us out. Reply 2.4k 2.4k
    via u/djobouti_phat
  • 03
    Font - Alfred-Adler. 20h True story: This happened quite a few years ago, I was working for a company and the offices were in a high raise building. 5:00 PM we get into the elevator, there's about 12-15 people. Mark sees Marta and says: hello Martha, I haven't see you in a very long time. When are you due? Martha: I am not pregnant. For the entire elevator ride, you could cut the silence with a knife. ... Reply 4.5k 4.5k
    via u/Alfred-Adler
  • 04
    Rectangle - JumpKicker. 19h 8 Awards True story, my mom and dad were in a crowded elevator while my mom was very obviously pregnant to the point of bursting. I guess she looks at my dad and says, "When are you going to tell your wife about me?" My parents are happily married; she was just pranking him. My dad said it was the longest elevator ride of his life. ... Reply 34.8k
    via u/JumpKicker
  • 05
    Font - funparent 14h 2 Awards My mom, sister, and I went on a vacation. While in the elevator, my sister joked "The reason we brought you here was to break the news you're adopted." The man in front of us turned around and said "and I'm your real father". The doors opened and he walked out. It was the best timing and absolutely hilarious. W ... 16.4k
    via u/funparent
  • 06
    Human body - D_CT_TX. 22h That noise your body involuntarily makes right before you're about to puke Reply 9.4k
    via u/D_CT_TX
  • 07
    Font - grilledcakes 20h 1 Award HuUurrk hUrP huuHn. Be sure to hold your mouth and arch over into a hunchback position and let your body lurch forward suddenly with each sound. 42.9k
    via u/grilledcakes
  • 08
    Human body - BA microg-o-meter. 22h Saying the floor numbers out loud. Reply 7.3k
    via u/microg-o-meter
  • 09
    Rectangle - ZaphodB 19h ● And as you start going up or down say the numbers with increasing excitement. G 3k
    via u/ZaphodB_
  • 10
    Rectangle - peachyogyrt 23h 1 Award "I'm sorry, I have to do this." Reply 21.1k
    via u/peachyogyrt
  • 11
    Rectangle - polo61965 20h "Lord forgive me for what I'm about to do" in the most apologetic and shakiest voice you can muster. ... 42.2k 2.2k
    via u/polo61965
  • 12
    Font - Disastrous_Channel62 • 22h 1 Award farts the most atrocious gas that levels the likes of Hiroshima 49.2K ..
    via u/Disastrous_Channel62
  • 13
    Font - nagitoe 21h 1 Award My grandpa farted in an elevator with a priest once and it was so bad it made the priest use the lord's name in vain. Absolute legend. ... 7.1k
    via u/nagitoe_
  • 14
    Rectangle - [deleted] 23h 2 Awards Pretending to talk on a phone: "Well, the doctor will let me know as soon as the test results are back if it's tuberculosis." Reply 23.7k S
    via [deleted]
  • 15
    Rectangle - harmonyjewl • 21h 5 Awards "what do you mean I get to name the illness?" 21.2k
    via u/harmonyjewl
  • 16
    Font - ClownfishSoup • 20h 1 Award "Well, I guess I COULD call it 'Super Contagious Anal Fungus', but that's not a very catchy name. How about 'Elevator Syndrome' in honor of where I first caught it" 10.4k
    via u/ClownfishSoup
  • 17
    Font - Overdose08. 22h "Has anyone seen the movie Devil, where people get stuck in an elevator? And someone goes on a killing spree?" ... Reply 8.3k
    via u/Overdose08
  • 18
    Font - Kusaregedo69 - 22h Me and my friend used to tease each other. Once we were in an elevator and I asked: do you still have lice? We were left alone right after the next stop. ... Reply 1.6k
    via u/Kusaregedo69
  • 19
    Font - Definitely NotA Dave • 23h "That was good for me, how was it for all of you?" Reply 5k
    via u/DefinitelyNotADave
  • 20
    Font - S TKRedditUser2020. 22h 2 Awards Before we start does anyone want to get out? Reply 21k ...
    via u/TKRedditUser2020
  • 21
    Rectangle - Douglasqqq 22h ● 2 Awards Don't say anything at all, but take the whole trip standing at the door, facing in. ... Reply 18.1k
    via u/Douglasqqq

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